EXCLUSIVE: What To Do To Avoid Marrying A 'Total Stranger' (Must Read) |PoliFocus

Marriages have been bastardised in recent time but it cannot but be connected to the 'reckless' way of lives of the couples, both before and after wedding.

Most people hardly prepare for it, to me marriage is a process not an end in itself. People should learn how to tolerate one another.

It must be stated that every couple were once strangers to each other at a point but for them to come together, they must agree (Amos 3:3).


There are some things that must have been done before a couple sends themselves to a social prison tagged 'marriage'. Like a common saying, if you fail to prepare, you have prepared to fail.

For those in marriage already, I say kudos and God will continue to rule over it and I pray also the HE will intervene so that you will enjoy and not endure your marriage.

But for the youths, I say congratulations! The reason for saying that is that you still have an ample opportunity to have a glorious matrimonial home.

Below are some of the things I will suggest you take cognisance of:

1. Be prayerful:

It is a common saying that 'prayer' is the universal key to unlock any potential in life. The spiritual controls the physical. Before you venture into any marriage, make sure that you seek the face of God.

It is not necessarily that you carpet cross from a religion to another but you can pray in any form that you believe and also available to you. HE will surely lead you well.

2. Take time out:

Never turn yourself to a 'television' at home. Stroll across the street together, during your leisure, spend time together in amusement parks.

Visit friends together, this will in no small measure reveal certain things about your intending spouse to you.

The way he/she introduces you to friends and loved ones will definitely do the magic. Also certain etiquette will also not be hidden, like sitting and eating manners.

If he or she is not always comfortable walking with you during the day but only in the night, you are nothing buy a 'side' lover.

3. Engage in long talks:

This is a sure bet! When you engage your partner with long talk or chat, it will go a long way to showcasing the true colour of the person. If your partner finds it difficult to stay on phone or chat with you for more than 5 minutes! Something is wrong.

Both of you should be enjoying the conversation because this same person if you eventually marry him or her will be your 'talk-mate' forever!!! Imagine that

A good husband must be a good listener. So if you have not been doing this before, please start it now. Healthy communication matters.

4. Fraternize with your partner's family members and friends:

Healthy relationship with the family members, loved ones, acquiescences and co-workers of your partner is of paramount importance.

They can make or mar a relationship, either directly or indirectly. Their recommendations and disapproval at times go a long way. So as a lady if you are in the habit of 'me & my husband', please discard it now because it is unAfrican.... Lolz.

People seek counsel at some points, the people that will definitely do that are these people itemised above. Though no human being can 100% satisfy people but do your best in this regard.

The hidden behaviours will be displayed as well through them, like the popular aphorism, "show me your friends, I will tell you who you are". 

5. Take your time to study his/er temperaments:

This is one of the most important factors, though no one can know every behaviour of his or her partner but cogent ones should be digged into. So that a decision will be made based on that if you can cope with it or not.

If you are a person that gets angry easily, please don't marry someone of same character with you, so as to avoid turning your matrimonial home to a wrestling ring.

If you are extravagant, you shouldn't marry some like you but both of you might end up being married to poverty because you will find it very difficult to save, and the poverty might also be transferred to your incoming generation.

6. Be observant:

You have to be doing this with caution, observe all but don't to react to all. Every detail counts. You should study his hanger, shoe rack and basic things that he or she uses when pay a visit.

We have heard about many married people using their friends' houses as mini hotels claiming to be their houses, be guided don't fall victim.

For the fact that a guy collected a room for you doesn't mean that he is real, he might collect the room for you because securing an hotel room is costlier.... Chuckles

Does his hanger corroborate with the things he normally wear when you hang out? If no, think twice.

7. Religion:

This is also a point that can't be ignored easily. Most homes have been shattered based on this.

If you know that the religion of your partner is different from you and you think you might not be able to cope, please back out now.

Dreaming that you will 'forcefully' change him or her after marriage might be a titanic battle. Though I subscribe to the fact that human beings change but that will be placed on probability.

God is one but your partner shouldn't be very alien to your way of worship, and the concomitant effects of the pressure of family members in this regard might be catastrophic!

8. Similar vision:

Ask yourself, do you share same vision with him or her? This doesn't necessarily mean that you should be doing same occupation.

For instance, a man that have the intention of working as a cleric in the nearest future that is dating a socialite, I'm afraid she might ruin the ministry that if he succeeded in having one.

If you have the intention of vying for an elective post and you prefer dating stark illiterates, no doubt about it, the person will be polygamous not necessarily because he wishes to but due to the requirements of the office he is occupying, such as First Lady... Or can a First Lady not be able to say a sentence in English??

You should stay in a relationship with someone that will buy your vision, stick to it and provide unflinching support when needed.

If one is talking about 2016 and the other 1914, there is a problem already!!

Stay glued for more tips on relationship...... You can drop your comments in the comment boxes. 

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